Sex drive: Men vs Women

The one topic which thrills everyone, thinking about which let everybody live in romantic mood is sex. Although talking about sex is as common among young generation irrespective of gender, yet it is considered undercover subject in our society. What am I going to discuss here is not its pros and cons, but I want to focus on its psychological aspect.

Apparently speaking, people, male and female think differently. Nature wise both are different and physically as well. Their mental level can be different. But what I want to elaborate here is what and how men and women think differently about sex.

Men are generally considered bold, and expected to express their desire first than women. True, not every man has the same dare, and not every woman expect man to express his feelings first; exception is everywhere. Actually women’s sex drive is more influenced by cultural and social factors. So this could be one reason why women stay behind from men in this matter.

Women are generally blamed that they are well capable in hiding their emotion deep inside their heart, but are men capable enough in this matter? Normally it is believed that women’s brain is difficult to understand. What are they hiding and what are they trying to tell, no one can imagine. All men are not the same at the same time. Men’s mind is also difficult to understand every now and then. Even men do have dual thinking — internal and external feelings.

Sex expert Brijendain Luane has found that men, too, conceal their feelings. For instance, sex; its desire in men is very high, but they try to hide their sentiments. However, in its desire to fulfill their desire, they do not dare to cheat women. So, the question arises here why men do that? Do men really have stronger sex drives than woman? Well, yes, they do. Study after study illustrates that men's sex drives are not only stronger than women's, but much more straightforward. Whereas the sources of women's libidos, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down.

Writing on different aspect of sex in her book, Luane says it is ‘testosterone’ hormone responsible for men’s such feeling. This is the hormone which compels men to linger on their eyes to women bodies’ curves. Testosterone, however, is linked to sex drive in women too. But this hormone works much faster in men than women. And this is the reason why men are more prone to sex. Suggesting women about men’s nature, she says treat men with cool head. She also says that not every man is like this, some are capable enough to control their feeling.

However, it can’t be denied that men are crazy about sex. Scientifically it is proved that desire for sex in men is two and half times more than women. It does not mean that women are not crazy about sex. It’s a common wisdom that women place more value on emotional connection as a spark of sexual desire. So here is the difference, and that is heart. Woman, in general, surrender herself in the arms of those whom she gives her heart; I repeat here exceptions are everywhere. Here, I would like to outline Edward O.Laumann, PhD, a professor of sociology, University of Chicago and lead author of a major survey of sexual practices, “Sexual desire in women is extremely sensitive to environment and context.”

Laumann reports that the most of the adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day, while only about one-quarter of women report this level of frequency. Men fantasize more than women; and as men and women age, each fantasize less, but men still fantasize about twice as often. Study further found that men reported more spontaneous sexual arousal and had more frequent and varied fantasies. And it is also a fact that men want sex more often than women even at the start of a relationship. Strange but true, men are keen to have more sex partners in their lifetime.

After interviewing people a lot and reading a great deal on the topic, I came to the conclusion that men are very specific about whom they become aroused by, who they want to have sex with, and who they fall in love with. In contrast, women irrespective of physical appearance of men fall in love with the person who are nice to her, care her and love her most. In nutshell, women's desire is more contextual, more subjective, more layered on a lattice of emotion; I repeat exceptions are everywhere in male as well as female.

Pills can kill your Sexual Desire !

Healthy sexual relationship is the first and foremost part of any good marital relationship. Sexual problems or lack of sexual desire can disrupt husband-wife relationship and thus life. So, Women, if you want to keep alive your sexual stamina, stay away from contraceptive pills.

A research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine critically warns women about such pills. It says that women taking the pill are at risk of losing their sex drive because oral contraceptives drastically reduce the ability to feel desire and arousal.

Study further states that there is a clear link between using hormonal contraceptive pills and Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD); FSD is a condition time and again caused by a lack of desire.

Interestingly, researchers on the other hand made a surprising discovery – instead of having unprotected sex, using condoms and other contraceptive barriers could do wonder for women as it enhances woman’s arousal for sex. The simple reason behind it is the lack of fear of pregnancy which boosts the potential for enjoyment.

"Sexual problems can have a negative impact on both quality of life and emotional well-being, regardless of age," said researcher Dr. Lisa-Maria Wallwiener of the University of Heidelberg, Germany, "FSD is a very common disorder, with an estimated prevalence of about two in five women having at least one sexual dysfunction, and the most common complaint appearing to be low desire."

Although lacking of sexual desire is very common in our society especially in working women who are aware that sexual dysfunction is often influenced by various factors such as stress and relationships. But this study has discovered it in new perspective that lacking of sexual desire might also be influenced by exogenous hormone application.

For the purpose of research, 1,046 participant women were selected to analyze the effect of contraception on sexual function of which 87.4 percent had used contraceptives in the last 6 months, and 97.3 percent had been sexually active within the last four weeks.

After the study, the researchers concluded that 32.4 percent were considered at risk for FSD, 5.8 percent at high risk for hypoactive sexual desire disorder, 1 percent for arousal disorder, 1.2 percent for decreased lubrication, 8.7 percent for orgasm disorder, 2.6 percent for satisfaction problems, and 1.1 percent for pain.

If this study is to be believed, women should think twice before using contraceptive pills; at the same time using contraceptive barriers not only lower women’s pregnancy risk, but also enhances arousal for sex.